The Evil Big Fat King

There was once a big fat king, He wore a big coal black duffle coat with a used handkerchief in his pocket. He always had a smug look on his pale face. He had a top hat swaying above his head like a chimney that father Christmas could fall down.

He was extremely large, every time the people saw him they thought that his bottom button would pop off and fly into the abyss.

Unfortunate of his looks he was the most wealthy person in the medieval village since he is the king he would look below on the peasants and raise their taxes as high as he wanted to. People would refer him as the devil king.

Unlike any kind king in a wealthy huge castle this fatty spent most of his time up to mischief at night, ruining the crops, slaughtering the livestock and even snatching the villagers artefacts!

The villagers had enough of the filthy fat king and they had a plan to wipe him out of this village and out of existence…

Farmer Phil: “First we distract the guard dogs with this perfect chop of pork then run into the castle and attack and set fire to everything, obliterating everything insight and take back what was once ours! Got that everyone?!”

People: “Yes Sir!!”

“Now lets put the plan to the test – Big Bob?”

“Yes sir” shouted Big Bob – Like a true SEO Hero

“You distract the dogs” the farmer said whilst handing him a huge chop of meat, the people were salivating over their clothes in the background.

Bob ran up to the guard dogs like a naked man was chasing him across the street.

Immediately the dogs locked onto Bob and the chop of meat and chassed him towards the river.

“I wish you luck guys” he shouted at the top of his voice.

“Now here comes the fun” whispered a villager” “charge in boys!”

Smashing the expensive vases and photos on the wall the riot of villagers ran into the castle, clutching onto there weapons and torches.

“Set the place on fire!” someone shouted and so they did engulfing the lower floor into flames, destruction.

“What’s cooking” muttered the king.

“SIR” “SIR” the fat king jumped up like a gymnast and muttered

“What is it general im trying to sleep, and also what’s cooking?


“Nonsense” the king shouted as he got out of his gold 6 feet bed and started walking towards the staircase.

“What?!” the king screamed “t-t-the stairs! They are bursting into flames!”

“Told you sir”

“Oh shut up” he sighed “We have one choice…The window!”

The fat king jumped to the window trying to squeeze himself out “umm general a little help?” “of course” the general said whilst pushing.

Pop! he flew out the window like a cork from a bottle of Champagne and bounced on the floor like an over inflated beach ball.

“Now we can run!”

“Or not…” the general whispered.

They were surrounded by angry looking villagers…

“Well that’s it for us” the fat king whimpered just as a big fat pork chop came down on his head.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. were the last words the Big Fat King ever uttered.